Move It, Move It, Move It–Raw-hide and Stiff Muscles

 

I am a Night Owl!

 

I really enjoy walking, biking, and swimming–in warm water–around 11 a.m. or 12 noon.

I also really like my  morning sleep,  To some of you, you may wonder why these are not compatible.

Trainer

My “trainer”–or should I say “torturer” is my daughter.  Somehow along the way she turned into a morning person.  She jumps out of bed at 5 a.m., drives to Starbuck and gets a Venti coffee drink.  When that is finished she enjoys a Red Bull energy drink.

While all this is happening, I am happily  slumbering in my bed.

With a burst of excess energy, she throws open the bedroom doors and announces, “Get up! Get Up!  She pulls up the shades as loudly as possible–singing something nonsensical.  She is so hyped on caffeine that sounds just babble out of her mouth.

I quietly shudder and play dead.  She plays doctor and lifts one eye open and I moan as the bright light glares in my eyes.

Get Up!  We are going to the gym this morning! she proclaims.

When she gets no response from me, she is not deterred.  She yanks off my cozy, warm comforter and then she really gets evil. Continue reading

Great Planning, Huge Backfire

If I can only wait 10 more minutes before I eat, then I will have less day and more food.

Only a dieter can understand that statement.

When your food is rationed–yes rationed, you don’t want to be hungry at the end of the day.

If you finish your food at 6 p.m., what do you do for the rest of the day? We could go to bed, but then the next day you will wake up even earlier and finish your food by 2 p.m.

How do you solve this issue? My great plan was to wait as long as possible before I eat my food.  However, today and unfortunately, more days than I want to admit, those extra minutes often makes things worse.

Today, because I had to take a fasting blood test, I ate my breakfast about 10:30.  I didn’t rush in and nuke my breakfast the minute I got home. I was a little leisurely about preparing my food.

BIG MISTAKE.

The food is in the microwave.  Microwave is next to the pantry–I thought it was free of my trigger foods.

NOPE.

Hidden far back in the nether regions of my pantry I suddenly spiedContinue reading

Clean Your Plate. People Are Starving in China.

 

Even though it doesn’t make sense, I grew up believing I had to clean my plate to prevent the people in China from starving.

Guilt controls most of us and I was controlled into thinking that it was MY FAULT that the people in China were starving if I did not eat everything on my plate.

Once you learn things as a child, even though your adult reasoning realizes it is a fallacy, subconsciously you are controlled by the guilt you avoided as a child.

I had an epiphany on the plane 37,000 feet up over the Atlantic Ocean.

I ate a portion of my dinner and I felt full.  I was full, but I still had one stuffed cannelloni to eat. I have to admit they were tasty cannelloni.

I had a great debate in my head.
Continue reading

Cravings, craVINGS, CRAVINGS!!!!!

 

Usually, I crave chocolate. But on Jenny, I get my chocolate fix daily, so that is not a problem.

BUT….

 

 

Stress = Sugar Cravings

Feeling Overwhelmed = Sugar Cravings

Yes, Saturday and Sunday I was both very stressed and was extremely overwhelmed.

My simple controlled chocolate fix was not working for me.

I craved cookies–no not chocolate chip cookies, but Almond Windmilll Cookies.

What the heck was wrong with me.  I never crave that.  Ok, it was available.  I bought them for my husband who had just had surgery.  These are his favorites and I was trying to spoil him.

ONE POTATO, TWO

2 cookies.  2 more cookies.  I had to have more.  I wasn’t satisfied and I wasn’t full.  3 more cookies, 2 more cookies.  I think that was all, but I could have had even more because I was focusing on feeding an insatiable hunger.  A blind, undefined need,

Finally,  my husband said, “You better stop or aren’t you on your diet now?”

DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

First, smoke billowed from the top of my head.  Then I thought, “Why can’t I have a few cookies?”  Then, “Why does he have to tell me what to do?”  “I can eat whatever I want.”

“No, I am still on my diet, ” I grumbled. ” I am not perfect, I ate something that was not on my diet–the world will not fall apart,” I argued a little too loudly.Continue reading

Jicama and Hunger

Jenny Craig–if you follow it and eat every two to three hours–I have to say–prevents real hunger.  It does not stop the–I am stressed so I have to eat to make me feel better hunger, or the–I’m sitting in front of the tv and I am bored hunger.  And if we are truly honest  with ourselves, we did not get this way because we fed REAL hunger.

However, the other day I got busy doing things and it was closer to four or five hours since breakfast and I really was hungry.  I knew it was real hunger because I was looking at the veggies in the refrigerator–not the sweets in the cupboard.

It was real hunger because I pulled out the jicama (pronounced hick-a-ma).  It had to be peeled and cut.  Yes, I took the time to do it–perhaps it was a five minute job.  Once I cut half of it I had to eat some.

 

Pixabay Photo

Oh my. YUM!  Yes it tasted so good. It does not have a strong flavor, but it is a refreshing flavor. It has the texture of an apple and the density of an apple so you don’t have to eat much to feel satisfied.

Sorry–if you have stress hunger it will probably have the same effect as carrots and celery, but it is much more filling than celery.  Now I make sure I put it in my salads to help me feel full the healhy way.

 

Oops, I feel stress hunger coming on.  Can  I tie myself to the chair?  I can’t tie my hands because then I couldn’t type.  Take deep breaths.  See, I am writing about food so my brain is telling me–food yeah–food makes you feel better–much less stressed.   Those two minutes of sweet  bliss is like heroin to us.   The only problem is that high lasts three minutes tops and then guilt kicks in and we  feel stressed again because now we hate ourselves for not staying on track–so the brain tells us to eat and ………..

Quick, take a drink of seltzer water–ahh fizz.  Ok, I am fine now.  That was a close call.

14 Days and Not At Goal Weight?

 

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

 

I can wait for a lot things.  I don’t need to buy a piece of clothing  the minute that I like it.  I can wait until I have the funds or until I lose weight. I don’t need to see a movie the day it comes out because people say it is a great movie.  I can wait to see it on Pay Per View.

But when it comes to weight loss, I want INSTANT GRATIFICATION!

Yes, in that area I am like the new generation–I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!

I see my goal–which is a huge number by the way–and it just seems impossible.  Also depressing, is that I never buy new clothes because I don’t lose the weight.

The experts tell me to find other ways to show I have succeeded other than weight loss on the scale.

They tell me to notice  how my  clothes feel on me.  They should feel looser, they say.   No, doesn’t work for me, they still feel tight.  I think I was being delusional for a long time  in thinking that my weight wasn’t  that bad.   I will have to lose a lot more for me to notice it in my clothes and besides, I have been wearing these clothes for 15 years, and  because I have lost and gained and lost and gained about a thousand times they are stretched to my size.

I have put a lot of thought in this.  I want to see and feel real progress.

They told me I lost 4 pounds, but I don’t see it, I don’t feel it.

So, I decided I would put one pound stones in a bag for each pound lost.  I have to get a huge number of stones and I really don’t want to take my food scale to the beach to weigh a thousand stones to find 50–lets start there–that weigh exactly one pound.

There has to be an easier way.  So, I head to the pantry, where I always head when I have a dilemma.  But this time I wasn’t searching for snacks.  I was searching for something that weighs exactly one pound.   I thought a can of soup would work–nope–1.02 pounds.  Bummer.  How about some black beans–nope–again 1.02 lb.  Green beans also disappointed me with a 1.01 lb weight.

You know, when you get really desperate for something,  you start pushing food around, hoping there will be a treasure somewhere behind the healthy food.

Yes, I found it!    It was exactly 1.0 POUND!

 

Exactly 1.0 pound!!

 

 

Ok, I found a pound can, but what am I going to do with a million cans of hummus?

Then it hit me.  I will see and feel how much I lost and then when I have reached my goal, I will donate these to a food bank or charity.  I will feel physically, mentally and emotionally good about myself.

Talk to you later, because now I am off to buy lots and lots of alwadi hummus.

Here We Go Round Again!

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Merry Go Round

We know our life goes in cycles, just like everything in the world from fashion to politics to educational views.
I wish my cyclic Merry Go Round was as beautiful as the one below But I have been around and around and around
so often that my Merry Go Round does not look like this. It has lost its glimmer, glitter and glamour and is
just a hard metal disk that gets harder and harder to push.

This is my Merry Go Round of Weight Loss!

I will not put a before picture in here because I don’t want to present that image of me. I–me–Virginia–is not that picture.
Unfortunately, the world only sees you from the outside. But the real me is my humor, my love for family and friends, my creativity, my
love for writing, my love for biking and walking on the beach–any time of day. When you see the picture you see a matronly, retired woman who
looks like she hasn’t seen a gym in years–even though that is untrue. I do visit the gym often when I am well.

Also, one thing that makes Virginia is my belief that I cannot quit and give up. A sane person would say, you are old, you’re retired, you really
don’t have to do anything but relax and watch the world go by. I cannot do that.

So, once again, I am starting a weight loss journey. I was successful a year ago, and I am determined to be successful now.
This is my first day on a quest to reach my goal. I feel like I am Don Quixote fighting against the impossible or the absurd,
but I will grab my stick , just like Don Quixote, and set forth to find my beautiful Merry Go Round again.

Need a Little Help From Your Friends Chapter

December 7, 2015

When you are on a weight loss plan, you do not live in a bubble in which unhealthy food cannot penetrate. That is a great visual though. Something for the next genius to invent. But, until it comes along, I have to live in the real world with real food and real temptations.

The last person I needed to tell about my plan was my dear friend who is a magician in the kitchen. She loves to cook. She loves to entertain. Her food tastes like heaven, and her food is quite healthy. The problem is that she is thin and she doesn’t need to lose weight and worst of all, she doesn’t like sweets, but she makes them for her guests. Yes, they are scrumptious! (I may have encouraged her by drooling over her food and scarfing it down the minute she puts it in front of me.)

I needed her help because she had once poo-pooed the plan because she had friends who had tried it, but had gained the weight back. I know she wasn’t too keen on this plan, she would prefer that I make and eat my own healthy food, but if I could do that, I wouldn’t be so overweight. I needed a drastic change and something with major portion control.

I waited a week to call her and invite her to our house. I was nervous and Number One was not happy with me. He thought I was being selfish, but I told him and myself that there comes a time in our lives that maybe we do need to be a little selfish, particularly when it comes to our health. When I spoke to my friend on the phone, and told her about my plan, she was a little hurt that I thought she would not support me. But when I reminded her of what she said about the program, she understood. She was ready to back me 100%! I love my friends.

So, that first weekend, I wanted to invite them over because they are always so generous with their invitations.

Number One was not too pleased with me because I had invited them over for tea and coffee and a card game. Again, he thought I was being selfish and not generous because I did not invite them to a dinner. I stuck to my guns. It was hard, but I did it.

Our friends came over, I had a nuts and fruit for them along with the coffee and tea. We all like a little wine, but they supported my need to forgo the wine and we don’t need wine to have fun.

We played several rounds of UNO– a game we hadn’t played since our kids were young. There was lots of lively conversation, maybe a little slight of hand with the cards, and we laughed and played until almost midnight.

It was a fun night and no food for me. Except, when they left, I had my Jenny chocolate cake!

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Support Chapter

NEXT STEPS

I had the plan, now I had to get the support from the important people around me. If the people who mean the most to you, don’t support you, then you will have more of an uphill climb.

NUMBER ONE

I looked at Number One and told him we needed to talk and that I would tell him where I had been. His face went a little white as if I was going to give him some very bad news. The relief on his face when I said that I went to the diet store was almost comical. It was weird, he beamed with happiness. At first I thought it was because he knew I wasn’t sneaking off to a have a Sunday morning rendezvous, but then it dawned on me that he was happy that I was taking care of myself and doing something about my weight. As I have said several times, he is smart and he is smart enough not to say anything about my weight because I would fall into a deep depression and eat more.
I know he wants me healthy, besides, who wants to walk next to a fat, old, lady? He did say that he noticed I was waddling on the hike, though. It was a good thing I had already made up my mind to lose weight for my own reasons, not because he said I waddled.

NEXT MY DAUGHTER

My youngest was home for winter break and enjoying the warm “Cali” weather and sending lots of Insta-grams to her friends on the East Coast who were suffering in the cold. My daughter was another person who needed to support me. She is thin naturally–it isn’t from my genes. She loves to go out to lunch and dinner. I gently told her that for the first few months, I was not going to go out to eat unless I didn’t have a choice. She was ok with that. “I want a healthy mom,” she said.

I have come to the conclusion that healthy is a euphemism for thin. No one ever tells an overweight person that they look healthy. So, obviously, she wants me to lose weight too, without telling me that I am fat.

When I go into her room when she is getting ready to go out, we have long conversations in front of her mirror. (Luckily, I can have a long conversation because she takes a long time to put on her makeup.)
My reflection in her mirror is that of a frumpy, overweight, old lady.
When I see myself next to my daughter, it just intensifies my feelings of failure and low self-esteem. The first words out of my mouth are usually, “Oh my God! I look awful!” (Which to be honest I do.)

SURPRISE RESPONSE

My daughters response surprised me. She was so upset that I always have such negative self talk about myself. My daughter thinks I am beautiful. Isn’t it wonderful to have daughters who think you are beautiful. (Which reminds me, I have to get her eyes checked.)

POSITIVE SELF TALK

Positive self talk is one thing I need to work on. I have a hard time saying good things about myself. I am a Pollyanna. I can find good things to say about anything or anyone. You don’t hear me trash talking about anyone, except myself.

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The Journey Begins Chapter

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This is a journey. This is a journey. I have to keep telling myself that because the day you start your die-it, you feel you are going to die of deprivation and at the same time you hope for a miracle that at least 40 pounds are going to disappear in the first 5 days of your diet.

My journey started January 5, 2015. First, there are no miracles in weight loss. My guardian angel has provided some spectacular miracles, but this problem is way out of my angel’s league. Secondly, I did not die of deprivation. You could even say, I didn’t feel deprived at all. Maybe that was the miracle that my angel gave me. She gave me chocolate.

The first thing I learned was that my idea of reasonable portion size was about 15 times off the mark. I was eating healthy food. I ate quinoa, grilled meats and lots of vegetables. But my portion sizes were gargantuan compared to Jenny’s portion size. The scary part was that I really didn’t think I was deluding myself. I truly thought I was eating a reasonable amount of food. This was a real wake up call to me. When experts tell us to eat a portion of meat that is the size of a playing card, I guess I was thinking my playing cards were the size of kids huge flash cards.

Luckily, I was still on vacation during my first week of the plan. So, I didn’t have to deal with workplace donuts and goodies that are always in the office the first day of my diet. Also it was a stay-cation so I wouldn’t be embarrassed when everyone was eating out and I was eating microwave food.

I also knew I had to have the support of a few people to make this happen. Number One was so curious about where I went that Sunday morning. I usually am very effusive about where I go and what I’ve done during the day. He usually half listens, but he was worried that I didn’t have anything to tell him. I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid he would think this would be another failed attempt and not really support me.

We went out with friends that day and walked the gorgeous, scenic bluffs and trails of Torrey Pines State Park. I wanted to talk about my new decision with my dearest friend, but yet I didn’t want to. My pain and humiliation from my bike ride was way too raw to bring up in a fast, casual conversation. Oh, I’m on a diet again. No. That wasn’t right. Would she also think–well, here we go again. Would my friend think that I have done this before and failed, so why bother?

How do I tell the most important people around me that I need their support? How do I convince them that I am really serious and I have to do this?