Losing It

Great Planning, Huge Backfire

If I can only wait 10 more minutes before I eat, then I will have less day and more food.

Only a dieter can understand that statement.

When your food is rationed–yes rationed, you don’t want to be hungry at the end of the day.

If you finish your food at 6 p.m., what do you do for the rest of the day? We could go to bed, but then the next day you will wake up even earlier and finish your food by 2 p.m.

How do you solve this issue? My great plan was to wait as long as possible before I eat my food.  However, today and unfortunately, more days than I want to admit, those extra minutes often makes things worse.

Today, because I had to take a fasting blood test, I ate my breakfast about 10:30.  I didn’t rush in and nuke my breakfast the minute I got home. I was a little leisurely about preparing my food.

BIG MISTAKE.

The food is in the microwave.  Microwave is next to the pantry–I thought it was free of my trigger foods.

NOPE.

Hidden far back in the nether regions of my pantry I suddenly spied

a bag –mostly empty–thank goodness–of nuts and chocolate pieces. Don’t ask about the expiration date–that is irrelevant at this point. I wasn’t looking for this, but all of a sudden it was in my hand and then without warning, the “organic mix” was in my mouth.

I knew I should put it down, but I was so hungry and my diet food was still cooking in the microwave.

Yes, the bag was empty before my brain kicked in.

Guilt!   Failure!  Guilt! Failure!

These words keep running through my mind.

Yes, I ate my breakfast, but since I ate late I was not hungry at noon.  I know I won’t eat until 4 p.m. when I get home.  I am filling up on tea and diet coke, so I will not be starving.  I hope!

Now that I have recognized that this is a problem for me  I won’t try to stretch the time.  I will have to plan a little more so I can ration my food and not run out of food before the day runs out.

The good news is that today I will run out of day before I run out of food.


Cravings, craVINGS, CRAVINGS!!!!!

 

Usually, I crave chocolate. But on Jenny, I get my chocolate fix daily, so that is not a problem.

BUT….

 

 

Stress = Sugar Cravings

Feeling Overwhelmed = Sugar Cravings

Yes, Saturday and Sunday I was both very stressed and was extremely overwhelmed.

My simple controlled chocolate fix was not working for me.

I craved cookies–no not chocolate chip cookies, but Almond Windmilll Cookies.

What the heck was wrong with me.  I never crave that.  Ok, it was available.  I bought them for my husband who had just had surgery.  These are his favorites and I was trying to spoil him.

ONE POTATO, TWO

2 cookies.  2 more cookies.  I had to have more.  I wasn’t satisfied and I wasn’t full.  3 more cookies, 2 more cookies.  I think that was all, but I could have had even more because I was focusing on feeding an insatiable hunger.  A blind, undefined need,

Finally,  my husband said, “You better stop or aren’t you on your diet now?”

DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

First, smoke billowed from the top of my head.  Then I thought, “Why can’t I have a few cookies?”  Then, “Why does he have to tell me what to do?”  “I can eat whatever I want.”

“No, I am still on my diet, ” I grumbled. ” I am not perfect, I ate something that was not on my diet–the world will not fall apart,” I argued a little too loudly.

THEN, GUILT KICKED IN.

“Why did I do that?”
“I’m going to look like a failure in front of my Jenny counselor.  She will think I am not serious.’

“But I am serious.  I have been perfect all week.  I carried food in a cooler to my husband’s surgery just so  I can be on target.”

What do I do?  I will faithfully eat all my Jenny portions for dinner and afterwards.

Do I weigh in?   Yes, I have to weigh in.  What will my counselor do?   Yell at me?  Maybe.

Hit me?  No.

Give up on me?   That I don’t know.

Let you know later.

P.S.  I have a guardian angel.   I lost two pounds!!!!!

My guardian angel may not be that good to me again, so I have to find a way to stop those cravings.

 

 


Jicama and Hunger

Jenny Craig–if you follow it and eat every two to three hours–I have to say–prevents real hunger.  It does not stop the–I am stressed so I have to eat to make me feel better hunger, or the–I’m sitting in front of the tv and I am bored hunger.  And if we are truly honest  with ourselves, we did not get this way because we fed REAL hunger.

However, the other day I got busy doing things and it was closer to four or five hours since breakfast and I really was hungry.  I knew it was real hunger because I was looking at the veggies in the refrigerator–not the sweets in the cupboard.

It was real hunger because I pulled out the jicama (pronounced hick-a-ma).  It had to be peeled and cut.  Yes, I took the time to do it–perhaps it was a five minute job.  Once I cut half of it I had to eat some.

 

Pixabay Photo

Oh my. YUM!  Yes it tasted so good. It does not have a strong flavor, but it is a refreshing flavor. It has the texture of an apple and the density of an apple so you don’t have to eat much to feel satisfied.

Sorry–if you have stress hunger it will probably have the same effect as carrots and celery, but it is much more filling than celery.  Now I make sure I put it in my salads to help me feel full the healhy way.

 

Oops, I feel stress hunger coming on.  Can  I tie myself to the chair?  I can’t tie my hands because then I couldn’t type.  Take deep breaths.  See, I am writing about food so my brain is telling me–food yeah–food makes you feel better–much less stressed.   Those two minutes of sweet  bliss is like heroin to us.   The only problem is that high lasts three minutes tops and then guilt kicks in and we  feel stressed again because now we hate ourselves for not staying on track–so the brain tells us to eat and ………..

Quick, take a drink of seltzer water–ahh fizz.  Ok, I am fine now.  That was a close call.


14 Days and Not At Goal Weight?

 

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

 

I can wait for a lot things.  I don’t need to buy a piece of clothing  the minute that I like it.  I can wait until I have the funds or until I lose weight. I don’t need to see a movie the day it comes out because people say it is a great movie.  I can wait to see it on Pay Per View.

But when it comes to weight loss, I want INSTANT GRATIFICATION!

Yes, in that area I am like the new generation–I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!

I see my goal–which is a huge number by the way–and it just seems impossible.  Also depressing, is that I never buy new clothes because I don’t lose the weight.

The experts tell me to find other ways to show I have succeeded other than weight loss on the scale.

They tell me to notice  how my  clothes feel on me.  They should feel looser, they say.   No, doesn’t work for me, they still feel tight.  I think I was being delusional for a long time  in thinking that my weight wasn’t  that bad.   I will have to lose a lot more for me to notice it in my clothes and besides, I have been wearing these clothes for 15 years, and  because I have lost and gained and lost and gained about a thousand times they are stretched to my size.

I have put a lot of thought in this.  I want to see and feel real progress.

They told me I lost 4 pounds, but I don’t see it, I don’t feel it.

So, I decided I would put one pound stones in a bag for each pound lost.  I have to get a huge number of stones and I really don’t want to take my food scale to the beach to weigh a thousand stones to find 50–lets start there–that weigh exactly one pound.

There has to be an easier way.  So, I head to the pantry, where I always head when I have a dilemma.  But this time I wasn’t searching for snacks.  I was searching for something that weighs exactly one pound.   I thought a can of soup would work–nope–1.02 pounds.  Bummer.  How about some black beans–nope–again 1.02 lb.  Green beans also disappointed me with a 1.01 lb weight.

You know, when you get really desperate for something,  you start pushing food around, hoping there will be a treasure somewhere behind the healthy food.

Yes, I found it!    It was exactly 1.0 POUND!

 

Exactly 1.0 pound!!

 

 

Ok, I found a pound can, but what am I going to do with a million cans of hummus?

Then it hit me.  I will see and feel how much I lost and then when I have reached my goal, I will donate these to a food bank or charity.  I will feel physically, mentally and emotionally good about myself.

Talk to you later, because now I am off to buy lots and lots of alwadi hummus.


Need a Little Help From Your Friends Chapter

December 7, 2015

When you are on a weight loss plan, you do not live in a bubble in which unhealthy food cannot penetrate. That is a great visual though. Something for the next genius to invent. But, until it comes along, I have to live in the real world with real food and real temptations.

The last person I needed to tell about my plan was my dear friend who is a magician in the kitchen. She loves to cook. She loves to entertain. Her food tastes like heaven, and her food is quite healthy. The problem is that she is thin and she doesn’t need to lose weight and worst of all, she doesn’t like sweets, but she makes them for her guests. Yes, they are scrumptious! (I may have encouraged her by drooling over her food and scarfing it down the minute she puts it in front of me.)

I needed her help because she had once poo-pooed the plan because she had friends who had tried it, but had gained the weight back. I know she wasn’t too keen on this plan, she would prefer that I make and eat my own healthy food, but if I could do that, I wouldn’t be so overweight. I needed a drastic change and something with major portion control.

I waited a week to call her and invite her to our house. I was nervous and Number One was not happy with me. He thought I was being selfish, but I told him and myself that there comes a time in our lives that maybe we do need to be a little selfish, particularly when it comes to our health. When I spoke to my friend on the phone, and told her about my plan, she was a little hurt that I thought she would not support me. But when I reminded her of what she said about the program, she understood. She was ready to back me 100%! I love my friends.

So, that first weekend, I wanted to invite them over because they are always so generous with their invitations.

Number One was not too pleased with me because I had invited them over for tea and coffee and a card game. Again, he thought I was being selfish and not generous because I did not invite them to a dinner. I stuck to my guns. It was hard, but I did it.

Our friends came over, I had a nuts and fruit for them along with the coffee and tea. We all like a little wine, but they supported my need to forgo the wine and we don’t need wine to have fun.

We played several rounds of UNO– a game we hadn’t played since our kids were young. There was lots of lively conversation, maybe a little slight of hand with the cards, and we laughed and played until almost midnight.

It was a fun night and no food for me. Except, when they left, I had my Jenny chocolate cake!

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