Losing It

Move It, Move It, Move It--Raw-hide and Stiff Muscles


I am a Night Owl!


I really enjoy walking, biking, and swimming–in warm water–around 11 a.m. or 12 noon.

I also really like my  morning sleep,  To some of you, you may wonder why these are not compatible.


My “trainer”–or should I say “torturer” is my daughter.  Somehow along the way she turned into a morning person.  She jumps out of bed at 5 a.m., drives to Starbuck and gets a Venti coffee drink.  When that is finished she enjoys a Red Bull energy drink.

While all this is happening, I am happily  slumbering in my bed.

With a burst of excess energy, she throws open the bedroom doors and announces, “Get up! Get Up!  She pulls up the shades as loudly as possible–singing something nonsensical.  She is so hyped on caffeine that sounds just babble out of her mouth.

I quietly shudder and play dead.  She plays doctor and lifts one eye open and I moan as the bright light glares in my eyes.

Get Up!  We are going to the gym this morning! she proclaims.

When she gets no response from me, she is not deterred.  She yanks off my cozy, warm comforter and then she really gets evil. 

In a flash my blankets and sheet are at the bottom of the bed.

I am still playing dead.  However, nothing stops my caffeinated daughter,  She proceeds to pull my legs off the bed.  She has a down to an art now.  She used to just pull and I would land with a thud on the floor.  Now she pulls and tugs and drags my legs and torso so I am in a sitting position.  I am seated, but far from awake.  It is 6:30 a.m.   I closed my  eyes at 11:45 p.m.  THAT IS NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!

She is talking so fast that I have no idea what she saying and at the same time she is pushing me into my closet to get dressed.

I somehow manage to pull on some clothes, brush my teeth and stumble down the steps.

Obviously, she is driving, because she has a good sense of self-preservation.

I move in slow motion as I trudge up the stairs to the gym.  (Why is the gym on the second floor?  Don’t we get enough exercise without climbing 50 steps?)  As you guessed, she races up the steps and heads to the elliptical.

I head to the bicycle.  I do so for two reasons, I am trying to get my biking muscles back so I can get back on the road and bike 15 miles, and the second reason is that sitting is closer to reclining than standing and I don’t have to stay awake.  Also, if I slow down on the bike, I won’t do a face plant like I would on the treadmill.

After a hour on the bike and a few minutes playing with the weight machines, I must admit that I feel good and I am glad that I exercised and finished it early.

My day is filled with errands, writing and studying German and too many trips to the doctor.

When I look for my daughter about three p.m., she is in her room.


Is turn around is fair play?



Great Planning, Huge Backfire

If I can only wait 10 more minutes before I eat, then I will have less day and more food.

Only a dieter can understand that statement.

When your food is rationed–yes rationed, you don’t want to be hungry at the end of the day.

If you finish your food at 6 p.m., what do you do for the rest of the day? We could go to bed, but then the next day you will wake up even earlier and finish your food by 2 p.m.

How do you solve this issue? My great plan was to wait as long as possible before I eat my food.  However, today and unfortunately, more days than I want to admit, those extra minutes often makes things worse.

Today, because I had to take a fasting blood test, I ate my breakfast about 10:30.  I didn’t rush in and nuke my breakfast the minute I got home. I was a little leisurely about preparing my food.


The food is in the microwave.  Microwave is next to the pantry–I thought it was free of my trigger foods.


Hidden far back in the nether regions of my pantry I suddenly spied

a bag –mostly empty–thank goodness–of nuts and chocolate pieces. Don’t ask about the expiration date–that is irrelevant at this point. I wasn’t looking for this, but all of a sudden it was in my hand and then without warning, the “organic mix” was in my mouth.

I knew I should put it down, but I was so hungry and my diet food was still cooking in the microwave.

Yes, the bag was empty before my brain kicked in.

Guilt!   Failure!  Guilt! Failure!

These words keep running through my mind.

Yes, I ate my breakfast, but since I ate late I was not hungry at noon.  I know I won’t eat until 4 p.m. when I get home.  I am filling up on tea and diet coke, so I will not be starving.  I hope!

Now that I have recognized that this is a problem for me  I won’t try to stretch the time.  I will have to plan a little more so I can ration my food and not run out of food before the day runs out.

The good news is that today I will run out of day before I run out of food.

Clean Your Plate. People Are Starving in China.


Even though it doesn’t make sense, I grew up believing I had to clean my plate to prevent the people in China from starving.

Guilt controls most of us and I was controlled into thinking that it was MY FAULT that the people in China were starving if I did not eat everything on my plate.

Once you learn things as a child, even though your adult reasoning realizes it is a fallacy, subconsciously you are controlled by the guilt you avoided as a child.

I had an epiphany on the plane 37,000 feet up over the Atlantic Ocean.

I ate a portion of my dinner and I felt full.  I was full, but I still had one stuffed cannelloni to eat. I have to admit they were tasty cannelloni.

I had a great debate in my head.

I was full,  so I shouldn’t eat it. But, it was killing me to leave food uneaten, particularly because,  it will be thrown away. My heart beat a little faster and my stomach got that funny feeling you get when you know you are doing something you shouldn’t–like sneak chocolate in the middle of the night.

I pushed my fork into the cannelloni  thinking I couldn’t waste it.  But my belly was telling me it was not hungry, so I pulled my fork out.  I debated in my mind for a good 5 minutes if I should eat it or not.  I did not want to live with the guilt, but I didn’t want to eat too much and I want to learn to stop eating when I am full.

Finally, I threw my napkin on it so I wouldn’t see it, and suddenly I relaxed.  I had made a decision and I had made the right decision for me.  I still don’t like throwing away food, but then again if I ate that second cannelloni, it would not be good for me.

I must admit, though, I secretly apologized to the starving people in China.


Cravings, craVINGS, CRAVINGS!!!!!


Usually, I crave chocolate. But on Jenny, I get my chocolate fix daily, so that is not a problem.




Stress = Sugar Cravings

Feeling Overwhelmed = Sugar Cravings

Yes, Saturday and Sunday I was both very stressed and was extremely overwhelmed.

My simple controlled chocolate fix was not working for me.

I craved cookies–no not chocolate chip cookies, but Almond Windmilll Cookies.

What the heck was wrong with me.  I never crave that.  Ok, it was available.  I bought them for my husband who had just had surgery.  These are his favorites and I was trying to spoil him.


2 cookies.  2 more cookies.  I had to have more.  I wasn’t satisfied and I wasn’t full.  3 more cookies, 2 more cookies.  I think that was all, but I could have had even more because I was focusing on feeding an insatiable hunger.  A blind, undefined need,

Finally,  my husband said, “You better stop or aren’t you on your diet now?”


First, smoke billowed from the top of my head.  Then I thought, “Why can’t I have a few cookies?”  Then, “Why does he have to tell me what to do?”  “I can eat whatever I want.”

“No, I am still on my diet, ” I grumbled. ” I am not perfect, I ate something that was not on my diet–the world will not fall apart,” I argued a little too loudly.


“Why did I do that?”
“I’m going to look like a failure in front of my Jenny counselor.  She will think I am not serious.’

“But I am serious.  I have been perfect all week.  I carried food in a cooler to my husband’s surgery just so  I can be on target.”

What do I do?  I will faithfully eat all my Jenny portions for dinner and afterwards.

Do I weigh in?   Yes, I have to weigh in.  What will my counselor do?   Yell at me?  Maybe.

Hit me?  No.

Give up on me?   That I don’t know.

Let you know later.

P.S.  I have a guardian angel.   I lost two pounds!!!!!

My guardian angel may not be that good to me again, so I have to find a way to stop those cravings.



Jicama and Hunger

Jenny Craig–if you follow it and eat every two to three hours–I have to say–prevents real hunger.  It does not stop the–I am stressed so I have to eat to make me feel better hunger, or the–I’m sitting in front of the tv and I am bored hunger.  And if we are truly honest  with ourselves, we did not get this way because we fed REAL hunger.

However, the other day I got busy doing things and it was closer to four or five hours since breakfast and I really was hungry.  I knew it was real hunger because I was looking at the veggies in the refrigerator–not the sweets in the cupboard.

It was real hunger because I pulled out the jicama (pronounced hick-a-ma).  It had to be peeled and cut.  Yes, I took the time to do it–perhaps it was a five minute job.  Once I cut half of it I had to eat some.


Pixabay Photo

Oh my. YUM!  Yes it tasted so good. It does not have a strong flavor, but it is a refreshing flavor. It has the texture of an apple and the density of an apple so you don’t have to eat much to feel satisfied.

Sorry–if you have stress hunger it will probably have the same effect as carrots and celery, but it is much more filling than celery.  Now I make sure I put it in my salads to help me feel full the healhy way.


Oops, I feel stress hunger coming on.  Can  I tie myself to the chair?  I can’t tie my hands because then I couldn’t type.  Take deep breaths.  See, I am writing about food so my brain is telling me–food yeah–food makes you feel better–much less stressed.   Those two minutes of sweet  bliss is like heroin to us.   The only problem is that high lasts three minutes tops and then guilt kicks in and we  feel stressed again because now we hate ourselves for not staying on track–so the brain tells us to eat and ………..

Quick, take a drink of seltzer water–ahh fizz.  Ok, I am fine now.  That was a close call.

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