Even though it doesn’t make sense, I grew up believing I had to clean my plate to prevent the people in China from starving.
Guilt controls most of us and I was controlled into thinking that it was MY FAULT that the people in China were starving if I did not eat everything on my plate.
Once you learn things as a child, even though your adult reasoning realizes it is a fallacy, subconsciously you are controlled by the guilt you avoided as a child.
I had an epiphany on the plane 37,000 feet up over the Atlantic Ocean.
I ate a portion of my dinner and I felt full. I was full, but I still had one stuffed cannelloni to eat. I have to admit they were tasty cannelloni.
I had a great debate in my head.
I was full, so I shouldn’t eat it. But, it was killing me to leave food uneaten, particularly because, it will be thrown away. My heart beat a little faster and my stomach got that funny feeling you get when you know you are doing something you shouldn’t–like sneak chocolate in the middle of the night.
I pushed my fork into the cannelloni thinking I couldn’t waste it. But my belly was telling me it was not hungry, so I pulled my fork out. I debated in my mind for a good 5 minutes if I should eat it or not. I did not want to live with the guilt, but I didn’t want to eat too much and I want to learn to stop eating when I am full.
Finally, I threw my napkin on it so I wouldn’t see it, and suddenly I relaxed. I had made a decision and I had made the right decision for me. I still don’t like throwing away food, but then again if I ate that second cannelloni, it would not be good for me.
I must admit, though, I secretly apologized to the starving people in China.
