When you fall off the horse, you need to get back in the saddle again. And that is what I’m ready to do. It’s taken me over a year to get back to you. I missed checking in with everyone because I kind of checked out. I can’t keep pretending that life and death hasn’t happened. I have to move forward.
After the death of my son, Adam, I couldn’t do anything. I just existed–and not very well at that. Then his wife got very sick–NOT COVID–and suddenly we had two grandchildren in the house. I was back to teaching first grade while trying to figure out how to teach and entertain a four-year-old preschooler. I was so super busy that I had no time to go to the restroom, let alone write on my blog.
Under such stress you feel you are going crazy and that there is nothing to help relieve the burden or the pain. I had nothing to anchor me and I was not happy. On top of that I was frightened I would die.
The good news is that my writing is my stability, my outlet, my sanity and my joy.
So here I am trying to be proactive in my journey to acceptance, to getting my balance back–as well as my sanity– and to find my happy place again.
The good news is that my saddle, like the one above looks a little worn, it has had a lot of use and abuse, but it’s comfortable and I can’t let mine get old and cracked. It needs loving care and needs to be oiled a bit here and there.
So I have dusted mine off and I’m ready to get on it.
Retirement isn’t what I expected–no, let me rephrase that.
Retirement in 2020 isn’t what I expected
I thought I would have days when I could sit around and do nothing. Ha! I have a four year old and a seven year old.
I thought I would spend days at the beach, and hours with my friends enjoying restaurants or taking trips to visit the grandkids in D.C.
NOPE, none of that!
Everyone of all ages has had their life restricted in ways we never thought would happen.
The kicker for the retired is that retirement means you’re old, and the old are more susceptible to the bad ravages of COVID 19, which just adds fear to the equation.
At this age, you don’t want the year to go by quickly, you want to enjoy every moment you have on this earth, but I want 2020 to go away and the vaccine to hurry up.
I’m back in the saddle.
I’m back to writing and finding my happy place during a not so happy time.